Suitable for framing.

I've already put this image up on Facebook and Twitter, so my apologies for a "triple post" -- but I wanted it somewhere more permanent. (I consider a blog permanent? Maybe I should buy a printer.) Voila!



Ah, good times. By the way, we posted an incredible time of 2:19 in the B division semis, and in the finals (the only race which actually depends on position rather than time), we raced 2:27, but kept the lead to win the gold! Not a bad job at all, Prairie Fire!

Now, I just have to come up with an idea for next year, and we're set.

Taking Care of Business.

Photos forthcoming.

But in the meantime, my first stint as an Elvis impersonator was an unqualified success. People were laughing, smiling, taking pictures -- I even got to autograph a scarf. The most surreal moment, though, was after the main performance, when a fellow came up to shake my hand. And then... a curious thing. He asked me what my name was.

A split second before I said "Denton", I stopped.

"Delvis Fresley. Pleased to meet you, sir."

He smiled. "The Real Elvis?"

"It's an honour to be here." (I guess I mumbled a bit too much. It worked in my advantage here, though.)

It is true, though -- when you put on that sequined jumpsuit, it's almost impossible not to fall into character. And it's even harder to act like yourself. That jumpsuit unlocks a wave of energy, and all you have to do is let your Inner Elvis pick up his surfboard. After that, It's all smiles and sunglasses.

Although not entirely... I did freak out one young boy -- and he acted in much the same way I did when I was his age, and at a Klingon exhibit in Las Vegas. (Always Vegas.) And I did get booed by one group of young ladies after they asked me to sing a song. But you know what? I suspect that they had already decided to boo me long before they asked. Fatalism works both ways, I guess.

I still had to paddle, though, which means that I am about to drop from exhaustion. But before that, one final observation:

Scarves are awesome. Swing them, drape them, spin around... I think they just replaced capes as my #1 male fashion accessory in sore need of a comeback.

All right. Time to get ready for the B Divison Final tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Evil Ball! Half-time intermission.

I'm glad everybody's been enjoying these so far -- I think I've got about three more in mind before I get to work on the musical. (It was going to be just two, but you wouldn't believe what somebody threw into a garbage bin yesterday.) Before I get to that, though, I'm off to the Calgary Dragon Boat Festival. Fun! Excitement! The chance that maybe this year, we'll finish our final race without losing any people and/or boats! (Third time's the charm, right?)

Have a good weekend, and Evil Ball continues when I get back.

p.s. You guys did notice that "Evil Ball" is an anagram of "Labville", didn't you?

A Little Less Conversation.

The next chapter in my new position as "Dragon Boat cheerleader" has begun: the team has unanimously decided that next year's them will be "Elvis Presley". What does this mean? Honestly, they don't know. They just told me that I have to be Elvis, and they'll make everything else work around it. And -- And! I get to pick which style of Elvis to use.

Not such a bad offer, is it? I'm not a huge fan of The King, but on the other hand, the chance to be an Elvis Impersonator isn't one that comes along every day... and I've got a year to put the outfit together, too. Already, my head is swimming with ideas: Ed Sullivan's "Elvis the Pelvis"? "Jailhouse Rock" Elvis? The black leather "Comeback Special"? All good options, but it should surprise noone to learn that I'm partial to "Hawaiian Luau" Elvis, myself. The thought of putting everyone else in Hawaiian shirts appeals to me, for some reason.

But that's not addressing the real issue: Big Ol' karate-choppin', peanut-butter-fryin', sequined-jumpsuit-wearin' VIVA LAS VEGAS Elvis. I'm only going to get one chance to do this, after all. Why wouldn't I go for the gold?

Still... the Hawaiian theme's perfect for a Dragon Boat festival... ah, there'll be a few sleepless nights working this one out before I'm done. But it's going to be worth it.

Speaking of the festival, Wrex wanted to know a bit more about the Lethbridge production. How can I refuse such a request?



Awesome costumes, aren't they? It really makes me wish I hadn't left my tie-dyed shirt in Medicine Hat. Anyway, here are the lyrics. Don't forget that this song is best sung in a cross between a slur and a wail, and that the chorus includes singing out the guitar riff -- as well it should.

"When the dragon came to Lethbridge,
a mighty storm followed behind,
it bellowed out a challenge
to beat its fastest time...

The teams, they knew they could do it,
so they got into their starting lanes;
and when they heard that dragon roar,
their paddles, they burst into flames.

[chorus:
Smoke on the water,
Fire in the sky.
Smoke on the water...]

The drummer kept the rhythm,
and kept them going hard;
and paddlers followed every stroke
with iron in their arms.

The steersman aimed for the finish,
wrestling with that giant oar,
he was tied down to the gunnels
in case he got thrown overboard.

[chorus]

Now, the dragon wasn't beaten yet:
He was the king of the lake!
He surged ahead like a tidal wave,
water crashing in his wake.

But the paddlers pushed right through it,
and the steersman kept them straight,
and the drummer called out, "Power Ten!",
and they blew that dragon away!

[chorus]"

And then, of course, comes the guitar solo. Add meedleymeedleymeeeeees as you see fit, but try not to squelch the mike when you hit the really high note at the end.

notes from the water.

Greetings, all:

I'm writing this from the fine city of Lethbridge, where my team, the Prairie Fire, is getting ready for the B Division final tomorrow morning. We missed the bottom of the A Division by 1.5 seconds... But there's also something to be said for not having to race against the professionals. Regardless, we're in pretty good spirits right now - not only because of the final, but also because we just won $250 for having the best chant/song of the festival.

Perhaps I should also mention that I wrote the song, in addition to being the only one on the team that sang it, while everyone else clapped and added background vocals.

I'm not sure whether I should be proud if having gotten paid for my writing, or if I should be proud of having gotten paid for my singing...

Oh, who am I kidding? I know that I got paid for the air guitar solo I did with my paddle, screaming "meedleymeedleymeedleymeeeee" until the microphone cut out.

I can live with that.