The next chapter in my new position as "Dragon Boat cheerleader" has begun: the team has unanimously decided that next year's them will be "Elvis Presley". What does this mean? Honestly, they don't know. They just told me that I have to be Elvis, and they'll make everything else work around it. And -- And! I get to pick which style of Elvis to use.
Not such a bad offer, is it? I'm not a huge fan of The King, but on the other hand, the chance to be an Elvis Impersonator isn't one that comes along every day... and I've got a year to put the outfit together, too. Already, my head is swimming with ideas: Ed Sullivan's "Elvis the Pelvis"? "Jailhouse Rock" Elvis? The black leather "Comeback Special"? All good options, but it should surprise noone to learn that I'm partial to "Hawaiian Luau" Elvis, myself. The thought of putting everyone else in Hawaiian shirts appeals to me, for some reason.
But that's not addressing the real issue: Big Ol' karate-choppin', peanut-butter-fryin', sequined-jumpsuit-wearin' VIVA LAS VEGAS Elvis. I'm only going to get one chance to do this, after all. Why wouldn't I go for the gold?
Still... the Hawaiian theme's perfect for a Dragon Boat festival... ah, there'll be a few sleepless nights working this one out before I'm done. But it's going to be worth it.
Speaking of the festival, Wrex wanted to know a bit more about the Lethbridge production. How can I refuse such a request?
Awesome costumes, aren't they? It really makes me wish I hadn't left my tie-dyed shirt in Medicine Hat. Anyway, here are the lyrics. Don't forget that this song is best sung in a cross between a slur and a wail, and that the chorus includes singing out the guitar riff -- as well it should.
"When the dragon came to Lethbridge,
a mighty storm followed behind,
it bellowed out a challenge
to beat its fastest time...
The teams, they knew they could do it,
so they got into their starting lanes;
and when they heard that dragon roar,
their paddles, they burst into flames.
Smoke on the water,
Fire in the sky.
Smoke on the water...]
The drummer kept the rhythm,
and kept them going hard;
and paddlers followed every stroke
with iron in their arms.
The steersman aimed for the finish,
wrestling with that giant oar,
he was tied down to the gunnels
in case he got thrown overboard.
Now, the dragon wasn't beaten yet:
He was the king of the lake!
He surged ahead like a tidal wave,
water crashing in his wake.
But the paddlers pushed right through it,
and the steersman kept them straight,
and the drummer called out, "Power Ten!",
and they blew that dragon away!
And then, of course, comes the guitar solo. Add meedleymeedleymeeeeees as you see fit, but try not to squelch the mike when you hit the really high note at the end.