Evil Ball! Guest Blog #3: The Allergen.

Long time readers of this blog will notice that -- huzzah! -- I've finally found a use for those two dozen yellow T-shirts I got for Christmas last year. Apparently, the "BVS" embroidered into them stands for "Baron Von Sneezy".

(The YouTube link is here.)

Greetings, citizens of the world! It is I, The Allergen, the future source of all your nightmares!

Although, I suppose that only applies to those of you with a life-threatening allergy. That might not seem scary, but think of it this way: if there was a villain made of Kryptonite, he'd be pretty scary, wouldn't he? And he can only kill one person! I could kill way more than that! Well, potentially, anyway. There's also the small matter that everyone who doesn't have a life-threatening allergy is a) immune to my powers, and b) likely stronger than I am. That means I should be sneaky about things, but it's kind of hard to kidnap someone or hold them hostage if they die as soon as you get near them. It sort of defeats the purpose, you know?

Still, I don't think I'm being treated fairly. I never gave them that allergy, you know... really, they're just killing themselves involuntarily due to my direct influence. It's completely different from murder! Personally, I think Death By Allergy should be downgraded from a felony to a... histaminer?

Oh, the look on your face just then... sometimes, that's all it takes to make this job worthwhile.

1 comment:

Joe said...

You are a little bit of totally awesome.

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Canadian explorer. Chemist by training, biologist by nature. Long-time supporter and participant in National Novel Writing Month. Known as "Aquadeo" in most Internet circles. Also known as "that guy with the pants" to people who have seen me in certain pants.