Apparently, I blew so many lines, that I had to teach myself how to edit! Delightful! Let's move on, shall we?
(You can view it here as well!)
Greetings, my loyal subjects! I'm speaking, of course, to all the janitors that read this blog, but greetings to the rest of you, too, I suppose. Now, ever since the days of unionization, my position's been in exile, so I don't really have much "authority" as King Of The Janitors... but that will all change soon. Yes, soon. First, I join the Evil League Of Evil, and then, from that seat of power, I strike! Then, if there's so much as a kernel of popcorn that falls into a garbage bin, I'll get a cut.
Of money, I mean. Not popcorn.
Ah, but what can I offer the ELE? It's quite obvious -- janitorial services! Really, just imagine how much more efficient your Evil Organisation would be if you didn't have to contract an outside cleaning company under a fake identity every time one of your henchmen exploded. That's bad enough, but sometimes you end up having to kill the staff, and then dispose of their bodies... it's a real headache.
Of course, all those problems can be taken care of at once... if you hire the right kind of cleaner. That, ladies and gentlemen, would be me. And if you're not convinced yet... behold!
The Janitor 'Stache!
If I make it to the next round of voting, I guarantee I'll use something besides cotton batting and barbecue sauce for the next video. Everybody wins!