Vendetta for Victory.

Okay, I've thought about it. I still like the idea of cutting down our C intake. However, renaming C to "Cookie" might be a bit too heavy for you guys. (But trust me -- your kids are gonna love it.) Besides, it's not like we needed to rename ascorbic acid to "Vitamin Cookie"; it's already the most delicious vitamin. What we really have to do is take one of the nastier ones and rename it "Vitamin Bacon-8". That'll solve child nutrition problems, guaranteed.

But I diverge. Let us put the Cookie behind us, and concentrate for a more attainable goal: That V's now be pronounced "Ved".

There are several good reasons for this:

It adds a little zing to common terms such as "Ved-8", "Cee-Ved", and the "Flying Ved Formation".

The term "TV" is fossilized -- it's not going anywhere. Digital video is the new wave, but "Dee-Vee" and "Tee-Vee" are almost identical. Switch to "Dee-Ved", and it'll be easier to tell the difference between old and new.

There are too many letters that rhyme with E as it is.

Because our alphabet needs to become less American without becoming more British.

But the major reason that switching to "Ved" makes sense:

All of a sudden, the Alphabet Song rhymes perfectly.

And if there's anything our hearts have yearned for but never known, it's for the Alphabet Song to rhyme.