Vendetta for Victory.

Okay, I've thought about it. I still like the idea of cutting down our C intake. However, renaming C to "Cookie" might be a bit too heavy for you guys. (But trust me -- your kids are gonna love it.) Besides, it's not like we needed to rename ascorbic acid to "Vitamin Cookie"; it's already the most delicious vitamin. What we really have to do is take one of the nastier ones and rename it "Vitamin Bacon-8". That'll solve child nutrition problems, guaranteed.

But I diverge. Let us put the Cookie behind us, and concentrate for a more attainable goal: That V's now be pronounced "Ved".

There are several good reasons for this:

  • It adds a little zing to common terms such as "Ved-8", "Cee-Ved", and the "Flying Ved Formation".

  • The term "TV" is fossilized -- it's not going anywhere. Digital video is the new wave, but "Dee-Vee" and "Tee-Vee" are almost identical. Switch to "Dee-Ved", and it'll be easier to tell the difference between old and new.

  • There are too many letters that rhyme with E as it is.

  • Because our alphabet needs to become less American without becoming more British.

  • But the major reason that switching to "Ved" makes sense:

  • All of a sudden, the Alphabet Song rhymes perfectly.

  • And if there's anything our hearts have yearned for but never known, it's for the Alphabet Song to rhyme.

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    About The Author

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    Canadian explorer. Chemist by training, biologist by nature. Long-time supporter and participant in National Novel Writing Month. Known as "Aquadeo" in most Internet circles. Also known as "that guy with the pants" to people who have seen me in certain pants.