Since "jabkinder" seems well on its way to becoming a word, it's time to aim a little higher -- let's start changing letters.
First off, C. It's a line made in a hurry. It's half a dot. It's a bent parenthesis. Sea. See. Si. The American Z. In Grade 4, I would have gotten a perfect score on that vocabulary test if my 'cl' hadn't looked like a 'd'. And with the sole exception of 'ch', every single use of this letter can be split up between two others: K and S.
Sure, "lisense" looks a little silly. But kompared to never having to worry about how to spell it again, it doesn't seem like such a bad trade, does it?
Of course, due to the aforementioned "ch" and non-English words, we'll still need it on our keyboards. But! Just to let people know we're serious, I would also propose we change the name of the letter itself. The letter would still look like C, but it would be pronounsed:
To avoid konfusion, the word itself would still be spelled with a C, and not a K. (Hey, it's English. Did you think there wouldn't be an exseption to these rules?) The benefits of this would manifest immediately: Government URLs would end with G-Cookie-dot-Cookie-A, and people would aksess those sites on their P-Cookies. We'd watch hokkey on the Cookie-B-Cookie, and the former Soviet Republik would have had jerseys reading "Cookie-Cookie-Cookie-P". (On the downside, talking about organik khemistry would sound like a bakery had exploded.)
I'm really exsited (exited? eksited?) about the potential here, but the idea still needs a little work.
One might even say it's half-baked.
I'll let you know if I kome up with anything better tomorrow.