Meanwhile, back at the greenhouse, we recently concluded our annual "employee appreciation" luncheon. I'm not one to complain about a free barbecue. I'm not even one to complain about listening to a half-hour of semi-motivational speeches during a free barbecue.
Because I could if I wanted to. Just so you know.
Anyway, there were also a few door prizes to be won -- that time-honoured tactic of ensuring that employees don't just bolt for the door as soon as they get a slice of cake. Some kitchen toys, some t-shirts, some movie passes, and polite applause throughout. Next, they moved to keyrings, and coffee mugs, and lunch bags, and lunch bags, and lunch bags, and lunch bags.
In fact, I'm pretty sure they had more lunch bags than they had lunches, so the draws kept awarding them, as the applause got fainter and fainter. Meanwhile, I was taking part in that other time-honoured tactic of employee luncheons: Figuring out who was absent, so that we could get their share of cake. Just as I'd claimed a double fudge slice, I heard my name get called.
As you can guess, I wasn't surprised by this. And, as you can also guess, I had my acceptance speech all worked out.
Actually, I hadn't really worked it out. To be honest, I planned to whoop, jump up and scream, "LUNCH BAG!", and run up to the front of the tables, pumping my fist like I'd won a gold medal. Then, I planned to continue expressing my thanks until the MC finally gave me the mike, at which point I'd repeat the corporate motto for his benefit, which would result in wild applause.
And the funny thing is... that's exactly what happened.
But what I didn't expect was so many people congratulating me on that speech the day afterwards. Normally, I work in a very healthy environment, where my flights of fancy are either ignored or quickly countered. But to be encouraged for such behaviour? I was starting to get a little nervous.
Fortunately, a few hours later one of the Grand High Poobahs of Gardening dropped in on my supervisor while I was in the office. He asked him, "Did you happen to hear about the awards ceremony at the barbecue?"
My supervisor replied that he had not, at which point the Grand High Poobah pointed to me. "There was one moment in particular that got a lot of attention. It's being described as... Dentonesque."
And at that moment, my heart burst into song. My name as an adjective? Really, that's all I ever wanted out of life.