Welcome to the Evil Ball! We'll now be introduced to our panel of applicants, one by one. After that, the audience (that's you) will be able to vote on which one goes on to the next round: The Musical! (Yes, really.) Let's get started, then, with our first entry.
Ah, the Evil League of Evil. If I could get into that club, why, I'd never have to work again. Just sit back, and try not to get in the way while Dr. Horrible and all the others create their usual brand of havoc. Then, I simply waltz on in, and join in the looting. Bliss!
Alas, I'll probably have to work in order to get accepted. Sigh. My preferred method of evil is usually a patient one, but it's not wise to keep Bad Horse waiting. Thus, I'm working on my arsenal of tapeworms! If my anecdotes aren't disgusting enough, a few thrown strands of tissue should send people screaming.
I just hope they don't look too closely, or else they'll notice it's spaghetti.
(What, did you think I was actually going to touch those things? Ugh! I get the shivers just thinking about it.)
At any rate, I'm glad to have this opportunity to announce my evilness to the world. Tremble, people of the world! The Parasite lurks among you!