Sun In An Empty Room.

Ladies and Gentlemen: It's time for me to go to mattresses. The splintered, wobbly IKEA bedframe? It's kindling.

But it doesn't stop there -- Everything must go! The trips to the grocery? No more. From here on in, I eat only what's already on my shelves, until everything's gone. It's just as well, really... that giant bag of instant mashed potato mix has been with me for three years now (ask me sometime why I don't like Costco).

The couch I got for free from Grande Prairie? Drafted by the Salvation Army. The book collection? Box only what I want to keep, bid adieu to the rest. The DVD collection? Same thing. The wardrobe? Let's just say that Medicine Hat's needy will be wearing more Hawaiian shirts next week.

Why the reduction, you ask? Because against all hope, my friends... my condo's got a completion date. On March 27th, I pack up my worldly goods and make my last move for a while. Hence, the rush to have as few worldly goods as possible. Because it's hard to start out on a clean slate when you're using the same dresser drawer you had in high school.

The housewarming party will be coming. Just as soon as I find a place for everyone to sit.