It's the Cheeziest.

It's potluck time again. This one was a maternity-leave sendoff for one of my co-workers at the greenhouse, which is a polite way of saying "baby shower." Not really a high-octane Friday night, but I hate phoning it in with a store-bought cheesecake. Time to roll up the sleeves, then.

The project actually started out simply -- a macaroni and cheese casserole. A splash of alfredo and tomato sauces (it's a rosée), some leftover nacho cheese from Mexican wrestling night, and voila... mediocrity.

Yeah, clearly I can do better than this. So, what else do I have in my larder? Hmmm...



"Go, Ohta!"

"Iron Chef Microwaveable is gesturing wildly to the crowd! I think he's about to unleash his signature technique... the Cheese rush!"

"What? Doc, can you provide with some background on this?"

"Well, the Cheese rush is a highly controversial maneuver. Very risky... I don't even know if the judges will allow it. It was originally developed as a cheap fondue by Iron Chef English Bachelor, but the challenger modified it in the legendary Bacon Dorito Fritter battle, and it's been his secret weapon ever since."


"Yes, indeed."

And then, in my head, the music starts to play.

The rest of the evening is a blur, but when the dust settles, I'm left with orange-stained fingers, and this:

Macaroni and Cheezies(tm).

It actually doesn't taste all that bad out of the oven. Its texture is horribly adhesive once it cools down... but it enters a whole new garden of madness once it's been re-heated in the microwave.

I kind of like it. I doubt anyone else will, but honestly? That's kind of the point. Refuse to bring the potato salad. Break down the barriers. Say it loud if you can't say it well.

It's chicken soup for the punk rock soul.


JoeBucket said...

Honestly, what do your co-workers think of your inventions? I am sure they must be used to it by now...

Al said...

oh dear.... that is... err... oh dear ...

About The Author

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Canadian explorer. Chemist by training, biologist by nature. Long-time supporter and participant in National Novel Writing Month. Known as "Aquadeo" in most Internet circles. Also known as "that guy with the pants" to people who have seen me in certain pants.