2.3.07

The Top 100: Biorhythm is a dancer.

Okay, so what's my big plan? Well, it's simple, really. The poetic appeal to astrology is that the conditions under which you were born affect your entire life. Of course, rather than look at things like nationality, gender, income bracket, and genetic susceptabilities, we choose to focus on whether Jupiter was more than ten degrees away from a star whose light will never reach us in our lifetimes. I propose that there's a middle ground here -- something halfway between obvious and irrelevant.

Something like the music which is all but inescapable in our lives -- Top 40 radio.

Now, contrary to what some radio stations (i.e., yours) believe, there are more than ten songs to choose from. And that's the beautiful part, right there: choice. Find a list of your birth year's Top 100 singles (here's mine - adjust URL accordingly), and find the one near the top which best describes yourself. Voila! That must have been the song which shaped your formative year. It's circular logic, of course, but we're trying to replace astrology here. What's sauce for the goose, right?

The song is your sign, but that's just part of it. Now, find an artist/band on that list which figures predominantly (three or more hits that year). That's your house. Now, let's put it all together.

Astrology: I was born in the year of the Fire Dragon. This means I'm a very energetic leader. My brother was born in the year of the Earth Horse. This means he's charming, low-key, stubborn, and reliable.

Popology: I was born in the year of Silly Love Songs, in the house of K.C. and the Sunshine Band. This means I've got a wry sense of humour, an appreciation for simple pleasures, and I shake, shake, shake that booty. My brother was born in the Year of the Disco Inferno, in the house of the Bee Gees. This means he's incredibly lucky and irresistible to women.

Which one sounds more believable to you?

And sometimes, it even exceeds expectations. It was mentioned at work that for all my hard work with this, the year when music is most important to you is almost invariably Grade 12. For me, that's '92-'93, so I started looking around the hits of 1992, and I found a song which also appeared on the 1976 hit list. The same artist, even! Obviously, that's the popological equivalent of a cosmic alignment. It can mean only one thing:

Bohemian Rhapsody is my spirit animal.

Did you just feel a chill, right there? I felt a chill.

The chill of truth.

6 comments:

gypsyhick said...

Happy 100th.

Thought of getting your spirit animal tattooed on you? It's what all the cool kids are doing, ya know.

Anonymous said...

Hey! You're onto something here. My top three are: Love Will Keep Us Together, Rhinestone Cowboy, and Philadelphia Freedom, and I know the words to ALL THREE OF THEM. You, my man, are spooky.

mB

Denton said...

1. I tell you what: if I ever do hard time in prison, I'll get BO/HE/MI/AN tattooed across one set of knuckles, and RH/AP/SO/DY across the other.

2. Glad to be of service, Mr. B. It's an easy choice, isn't it, between being a Sagattarius and being a Rhinestone Cowboy?

Wrexie said...

My song for my birth year was "Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree" - kinda square. But my house makes up for it - Stevie Wonder, yo. There's not much that's cooler than Stevie.

Denton said...

The House of Wonder? Yeah, that's some powerful mojo there. Puts the House of Tools to shame.

plobvert said...

Scott's is:
Aquarius (5th Dimension)(strange I am an Aqurius) in the house of CCR.

Cara's is:
My Sharona (The Knack) in the house of Donna Summer

About The Author

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Canadian explorer. Chemist by training, biologist by nature. Long-time supporter and participant in National Novel Writing Month. Known as "Aquadeo" in most Internet circles. Also known as "that guy with the pants" to people who have seen me in certain pants.