I received a magazine in the mail this month which arrived in the following bag:
I love this. I absolutely love this. I want to give Canada Post a big hug. Do you know why? It's that last sentence. First they apologise, then they apologise for the format of the apology.
"Hi there... um, you've probably heard by now, well, of course you have, about that near miss in the parking lot. Look, I just wanted to let you know that if I'd known it was your car, there's no way I would have backed into it. Well, not that I would have backed into any car on purpose -- not that I did -- but I'm really, really sorry that it had to be, would have been, yours.
Oh, man, who am I kidding? I suck, this apology sucks, and you're probably going to punch me in the face, or sue me. In fact, I've probably said something you can use in court by now. If I'd just kept my mouth shut, you'd probably still respect me as a human being, which you shouldn't... ARGH! STUPID!"
*Begins punching self in head*
I think that from now on, I'm going to look at all warning labels as showing comically low self-esteem. In fact, I'm already certain I should have done this years ago.
Thank you, Canada Post.