The Labville 50,000

Wherefore and Why.

2011-12-01T00:01:00.002-07:00

Imagine, if you will, that you’re alone in an elevator, and just before the doors close, someone squeezes in to join you, and it just happens to be the president of your company. The elevator begins the slowest ascent to the top that you’ve ever known. And no one else gets on.The two of you fidget uncomfortably, but you know that in your bottom-rung position, there’s no way you’re going to

Lapin du monde.

2011-10-21T16:59:00.002-06:00

According to Harold Camping, today (Oct. 21, 2011) is the end of the world.He started out with a hook to get people's attention - after all, it's an interesting concept, right? It also didn't hurt that he also started out with his own mass media entertainment network. He then presented a very selective interpretation of the established literature, which conveniently mirrored his own theories.It

By any other name.

2011-09-15T12:29:00.001-06:00

I finally saw a Rose today.Not a rose, mind you. I've seen enough of those in parks and gardens, and floral arrangements. But until today, I've never seen what made a Rose so legendary.This was not a flower, but a part of the wall itself. At its base, the stalk was as thick as an axehandle, and the thorns protruded everywhere, threatening passersby on one side, and digging into the ancient

Zwielicht.

2011-09-12T08:12:00.001-06:00

Jet lag might not be the debilitating affliction of comic proportions that I feared it would for this trip, but nonetheless it's 5AM, and I'm in a hotel room in Frankfurt. The twilight is fighting the morning, but already hues of orange can be counted among the colours visible in the dim light of the room. The battle is nearly over.It's a modest hotel by most accounts - a room with a bed. A

Bwah ha ha!

2011-09-07T21:48:00.005-06:00

I believe I was whining on Google+ just a few weeks ago about how Marvel has loads and loads of Canadian superheroes, and DC has barely any. Then, I read the new "Justice League International", and I'm somewhat mollified by the fact that it could be worse. I'm continually wincing at how brutally forced it feels every time someone's nationality is referenced. Here's a direct quote from the first

Staying Power.

2011-09-01T23:11:00.003-06:00

It was another poetry meeting tonight, and I think I managed to hold my own. Today's poem is inspired partially by my last blog post, actually: "Words That Stay" is still resonating with me, and encouraged me to try getting a bit fancier in my philosophizing about paper. I really like "rubber scars" when talking about eraser marks, even if the phrase "don't hide any lies" is a bit clunky. But

Words that stay.

2011-08-26T22:27:00.006-06:00

Man, if I'd posted my thoughts on Apple last week like I originally planned, I would have been on the cutting edge of tech punditry. Ah, well. A few weeks ago, I read an article explaining why we might not be seeing any new products from Apple. It's a good argument, and mercifully free of the life-without-Steve-Jobs rhetoric that's filled your news for the last few days. Here's a key idea from

A penguin would have helped.

2011-08-24T22:42:00.003-06:00

I went to see Tree Of Life at the Monarch today. Now, if I was going to pick a day when a movie about life, death, and the majesty of the universe was going to hit me emotionally, a day like today would be pretty high up on the list. I'm still a bit shaken over the death of Jack Layton, and the beauty of his last words are still haunting me. I went into the theatre with some heavy questions on my

Back to your roots.

2011-08-16T20:48:00.002-06:00

I haven't mentioned this on the blog yet, but I'll be going to Germany and the Czech Republic this September. I certainly hope to have some stories to tell and pictures to share -- it's going to be great. The odd thing, though, is that I'll be traveling with my parents. It's odd because, in all the years I've known him, my father's never once offered a vacation idea that involves a drive of more

The second second.

2011-08-12T11:10:00.002-06:00

"Too often I would hear men boast of the miles covered that day, rarely of what they had seen." - Louis L'Amour I've seen as far south as Phoenix, and as far north as the Arctic Circle. As far east as Toronto, and as far west as... well, Vancouver. I've seen the Northern Lights, and I've seen meteor showers. I've seen curious bears and starving foxes. I've seen hail storms that have collapsed

C'est Paris.

2011-08-06T22:03:00.005-06:00

It was a hot Saturday, and everything seemed out of step. The art gallery had changed the exhibit I was looking for, I didn't have the veggies I thought I had when I was making dinner, and the "check engine" light started to flicker in my car. Even the song on my stereo seemed out of tune. It was "We'll Make Time" by Hawksley Workman, and it opens with a four-note chant. For some reason, I

The Krebs Cycle.

2011-08-04T23:22:00.006-06:00

I'm happy to say poetry night was a success! Sapo was an amazing act -- almost like some forgotten strain of vaudeville that had evolved in a forest after a hundred years away from outside influences. It was a strange and wonderful honour for our humble poetry group to open for them.As for my poem, I'm quite happy with it, since it was the culmination of a challenge I'd given myself months ago:

Masquerade.

2011-08-03T20:42:00.002-06:00

On Monday, I had the good fortune of joining up with a few people for an afternoon of lawn bowling. Good fun was had, and we learned quite a bit about the sport, as well. As the sun dipped a bit lower, the games slowed down, the snack table was set up, and drinks were opened while Led Zeppelin played on a turntable in the distance (as close to us as the extension cord could reach).Thus, I

Fluffy Bunnies.

2011-07-30T00:50:00.005-06:00

It began with talking about the Group of Seven.It ended with me watching two British soldiers wrestling on a balcony while one tried to eat marshmallows out of the other's ear. Perhaps that doesn't tell the whole story. Bear with me, and I shall elaborate.It was a housewarming party for a newly married couple -- always a happy occasion, n'est-ce pas? I arrived to find the apartment filled with

Changemakers.

2011-07-26T23:18:00.001-06:00

It was a bit on the muggy side this evening, as summers between the storms are wont to be. Thus, I found myself in the nearby Gas King, waiting in line to purchase a slush. Ahead of me were two young teens of a similar mind -- the iced beverage was clearly their primary objective, and now the gas station attendant was pointing out to the two girls how much change they had left over to buy various

The Medicine Hat Dodgeball Conspiracy.

2011-07-23T22:17:00.003-06:00

Today, I finally found out what it was like to be a popular kid in Grade 6: I got invited to a dodgeball game. My first reaction was, of course, "Dodgeball? What fun!" After all, who doesn't like throwing things at other people, and trying not to get hit? It's like a re-enactment of the great Roman wars, only with sponge balls instead of javelins.I showed up at the YMCA, ready for action. I'd

Alberta :: Elsewhere.

2011-07-16T14:32:00.001-06:00

An update from the road today -- for the first time in months, I have a computer, camera, and (crucially) camera batteries all in the car with me, so I thought that perhaps I'd go somewhere memorable: The Torrington Gopher Hole Museum.They're not so much "gopher holes" as they are "holes with gophers", though. But oh, what gophers! It's actually a collection of dioramas, with... well, perhaps I

Let Me Play Among The Stars.

2011-07-08T23:27:00.001-06:00

I was wide awake in a friend's living room after crashing on her couch. No one else in the house was stirring, so I flipped through a book on her coffee table. It was a collection of personality self-tests - the type I call "Pigman stories", after the book by Paul Zindel. "You're tasked with a quest, and you're given a sword to aid your journey. Describe it... oho! You've just described your

Less Shakespeare = More Blogging.

2011-07-06T19:51:00.001-06:00

It was rush hour on the Trans-Canada Highway. It was too hot to leave the windows rolled up, which made it too loud to hear the stereo. It's the classic lose-lose scenario of those without air conditioning.The light ahead turns green well before I have to slow down, but the water truck ahead of me had already stopped, and was just starting its slow return to cruising speed. Too slowly for me,

Saint Crispin's Day.

2011-06-21T21:33:00.004-06:00

Sorry I haven't updated in so long -- these rehearsals are taking quite the chunk out of my free time. But it's all been worth it! The cast is having fun, the lines are coming to life, and seeing everything assembling is a wonderful moment, as you realise how much bigger this play is than just the few lines you're given.There's been another interesting development, as well: we've now moved our

The old man and the demotivational poster.

2011-06-07T23:25:00.005-06:00

You folks might recall the wisdom of John C., a colleague who's a jester in the style of the classic fables - the sort of person who hides his wisdom in harmless words, so that he may say them freely and let them be discovered only by an audience ready to listen.Today, someone at the greenhouse recited Aesop's fable of "belling the cat" on the internal message board, implying that we were trapped

The Collective.

2011-06-06T23:18:00.003-06:00

All right, this argument has been going on for way too long on Twitter. It's time to correlate some data.The topic of discussion is collective nouns. A pack of wolves, a pride of lions, a murder of ravens, a parliament of owls. These are some of the most beautiful structures in the English language - a spot where the rules and usage of words buckled together and warped, frozen into an immortal

Doot dootle oot doot.

2011-05-27T00:03:00.001-06:00

Vancouver is a wonderful city, but it's one with a very different attitude than your standard metropolis. For example, look at the superheroes different types of cities attract. In a place like Gotham City, only a grim and implacable crusader can bring fear to the criminal element. In a shining gem like Metropolis, its lustre attracts criminals of a magnificent yet terrifying scale, and it

Aroma.

2011-05-25T23:31:00.001-06:00

A bit of clarification on that last post: it's "Collider", not "The Collider", and after all my talk about the bass guitar, it's only proper for me to single that fellow out: thank you, James Hall. Sorry for not mentioning you by name earlier.There was one other thing I forgot to mention about "The Last Crusade" by Sam Roberts: it's got some wonderful horn playing near the end. Normally, I love a

Roman Collision.

2011-05-24T19:14:00.001-06:00

All right, let's talk about bass. It's probably because I sang bass in choir, but I've always been partial to the lower registers. (Which is why the high-end car audio systems that turn your music into a thrill ride for your sinuses has always baffled me, but I digress.) In most cases, songs have a grounding bass, which combines with the drums to provide a background for the rest of the

Cross Collision.

2011-05-23T23:44:00.001-06:00

My apologies for the absence -- in my defense, you haven't been missing out on much. Primarily, I've been sleeping in until 15h00 each day, and then spending the remainder of the weekend under a blanket, coughing pathetically. But, eventually the illness comes to pass. You step into the shower, and all of a sudden, you can feel the clammy sweat and spittle and vaporized mucous wash away, and you

Don't Panic.

2011-05-17T21:02:00.001-06:00

When I was unemployed in Edmonton, I actually had a job interview in Slave Lake. Sure, it was a bit of a drive north, but it was a beautiful landscape. Hills and trees as far as you could see - which actually wasn't all that far, thanks to the hills and trees. And the lake, of course. For some reason, I'm always mildly impressed when a town actually resembles its namesake. (Possibly because I

Sunfire, Sunset.

2011-05-13T10:41:00.001-06:00

It's not quite as monumental as returning to my novel-in-progress or finishing my poem about the Krebs Cycle, but at least I'm getting back to writing. This short story (850 words) is part of a writing circle: everybody submits a story element, and then everybody writes something that uses each of those elements. The list of contributions was:- A cemetery at dawn- A party- A smelly shoe- An

Ma belle dame.

2011-05-12T00:12:00.000-06:00

By now, if you've been paying attention attention to Canadian politics, I'm sure you've hears of Ruth Ellen Brosseau by now. It's a mind-boggling story: no matter whether you accuse or defend her on any number of claims, it always seems slightly bizarre that this is even happening in the first place.iBut for me, the real story here is what's going on behind those doors at the NDP headquarters.

Art Vandelay. Architect.

2011-05-08T00:53:00.001-06:00

When I worked in the water labs, there was a courier who would stop by often. A merry soul, he always had a smile and a joke for us. A wonderful man. I remember once, I was outside the building for some reason when he pulled up, and for the first time, I saw the title he'd stenciled underneath his name on his truck's door: "Hot Air Balloonist and Bon Vivant."Naturally, it was great to find out he

Survival Guide for a Conservative Canada.

2011-05-04T00:05:00.001-06:00

The election is over, and a lot of people are nervous today. Stephen Harper has been seen as overbearing, dismissive, and uncooperative in a minority government -- now that he's got a majority government, what can stop him from doing whatever he wants to the institutions of this country?Well, before we go too far into paranoia, let's remember: If right-wing politicians wanted nothing but money

_ender Bender.

2011-04-30T19:12:00.001-06:00

Today was an absolutely beautiful spring day, and I spent part of it outside on the patio of my favourite café, watching the world go by. While doing so, a lady parallel-parked her Toyota along the sidewalk across the street. She did so in a manner which was perfectly in accordance with any responsible motorist... quite unblogworthy, really. But it got me thinking... whatever happened to the myth

Quickshots.

2011-04-24T22:05:00.003-06:00

It's been eight days since my last post, so here you go: eight things to make up for it!Apparently, Seattle has its own league of superheroes, led by one Phoenix Jones.If Seattle has a Superman, then Vancouver has a Mr. Mxyzptlk: namely, the incomparable Nardwuar the Human Serviette. (Incomparable, that is, to beings within this dimension. Comparisons to Mr. Mxyzptlk are wholly appropriate.)

A friend's just a stranger you keep on meeting.

2011-04-16T09:39:00.001-06:00

A few weeks ago, I told my friends at work I was taking a day off to go to the Seattle area."How come?""Oh, I've got some friends I've never seen down there, and I'm overdue to correct that."There was a brief pause."So, do you mean you haven't seen them since they moved there, or...""No, I've literally never seen them before."There was another brief pause, a shrug of acceptance, and the

The Fantastic Mr. Tolstoy.

2011-04-14T00:26:00.001-06:00

The following quote showed up in my Twitter feed a few days ago: “Happy couples all look different; it's the unhappy couples that look the same." ~Howard Markman I don't know if that is actually a comment on unhappy couples, though. I think it's more of a comment on the viewer than it is on the subject: they *look* the same, because that's the limitation of our perspective. We all understand

The two-way street of politics.

2011-04-06T00:20:00.001-06:00

Voters attend political rally, support voting, get kicked out by RCMP.In all fairness, that infuriates me on a non-partisan level. It seems as though the RCMP would be just as willing to shut down a pro-voter crowd at a Liberal or NDP rally.Unfortunately, this other story is unavoidably partisan... and if you'll forgive me, there's going to be a short rant. If you want to skip the purple text,

Bump.

2011-04-03T22:10:00.002-06:00

I was in a coffee shop today, reading a book and thinking about Shakespeare. I probably should have been reading Shakespeare and thinking about my book, but I'd still call it a productive day. However, for some reason the coffee shop was in a Frank Sinatra mood, because that was the only thing they played while I was there.Now, I won't surprise anybody by saying this, but I love Frank Sinatra.

I'm still not a morning person, though.

2011-04-02T01:54:00.001-06:00

I've had the blogger's reverse dilemma these last few days: too much to talk about. Unfortunately for me, most of my discussion topics revolve around the federal election. I do have some opinions about this, obviously, but I thought I'd hold off on that, so as to spare you the indignity of being forced to read yet another page political commentary. ...so soon after the last one, that is. Don't

Toque of the Beachcomber.

2011-03-29T22:46:00.001-06:00

I mentioned in my last post that I'd acquired a denim jacket at the Corner Gas auction. It's a good jacket - wide enough to be roomy, short enough to be lightweight. Ample pocket room, some smart-looking seams. A tear on the left cuff, but it adds character. There's only one problem with it: I don't know whose jacket it was.However, I happen to be in the middle of a very strange and wonderful

Dog River to Medicine Hat.

2011-03-27T08:14:00.001-06:00

The snow was sliding over the Trans-Canada like a moving carpet of white insects. Underneath that stream was a thin layer of ice, polished down to a millimetre's thickness by the traffic. And straight ahead of me, right between the clouds and the horizon, was the setting sun, casting its pale and heatless glare over this blinding expanse of mirror and crystal. It wasn't the worst set of driving

Election.

2011-03-23T19:15:00.004-06:00

Well, here we go -- another federal election. I'm predicting another Conservative minority government, which probably won't surprise many people. What is surprising, though, is that it's happening at all. There's a distinct lack of scandal, outrage, protest and disdain in Canada right now... there are challenges that we have to deal with, but all things considered, we're doing pretty well at

In the Hot Zone.

2011-03-21T21:57:00.003-06:00

Suppose there's a fire in a shop at the mall.Evacuating the shop makes perfect sense. Get people out of there, they're in danger.Evacuating the mall makes sense, too. No, you can't continue shopping while firefighters are at work. Besides, it's better safe than sorry, in case the fire spreads. However, that doesn't mean the people in the food court are at any sort of real risk.Evacuating the

Triple Word Score.

2011-03-18T22:42:00.003-06:00

That's now the second time I've read my poetry in front of a live audience, and a successful evening, at that -- people applauded, thanked me afterwards, and I'm still shaking a little bit from the adrenaline. Not a bad rush for ten minutes of stage time! Or maybe I'm just shaking from nerves, because I finished writing one of my poems forty-five minutes before the show started. I'm looking

Goodbye, Alt-227. Hello, Alt-231.

2011-03-16T22:06:00.005-06:00

It's something that has been with me for years. A symbol of my experiences, which slowly turned into a symbol of my dreams, then my beliefs, and then myself, as I incorporated it as something of my own.And then, in one sweeping moment of clarity, it was all gone, and replaced with the truth. The strangest thing, though... is that I actually feel better now.π is the wrong constant. Wow. I still

By any other name.

2011-03-12T19:45:00.001-07:00

I was perusing the grocery shelves today, trying to find a suitable ingredient for my next batch of kombucha. Perhaps if I'd been more diligent, I would have found something practical, like blueberries, but instead I espied a jar of rosehip preserves. Sweet, tart, subtle, and not too far removed from the rosehip tea I'd have as a kid when I wanted to play "hunter-gatherer." Perfect.The surprise,

The ballad of the ice-worm cocktail, Part 1.

2011-03-10T18:28:00.004-07:00

My friend Mike had an interesting fact to share the other day - apparently, if you drop a book in the bathtub, the best way to dry it out is in the deep freeze. Given enough time, the water in the icy book will sublimate, escaping from the paper without warping it."Of course," he cautioned, "the problem with that idea is that you'd have to risk ruining a book to test it out."A very good point

The system can't handle this.

2011-03-10T00:03:00.001-07:00

There are 2 types of people:Those that have ulcers, and those that give them.Try to be in the latter. All you have to do is have integrity, speak the truth, help others and try to keep having fun.The system can't handle this. -John CherwonogrodzkyThere's nothing I can write about today that'll be half as profound as this advice I recently got from a co-worker. By recording it here for

Poetry Pants.

2011-03-07T21:54:00.004-07:00

I already mentioned the success of the poetry night last night, but I never posted any pictures. Fortunately, there was a talented soul with a camera out there willing to help. (Wow. I look so natural and relaxed, when I'm not holding the camera with one hand, or running into position before the auto-timer goes off.)Not bad, eh? I especially like how he managed to catch me at "maximum

Request For Comments.

2011-03-06T10:00:00.002-07:00

So, after the serendipitous night of poetry, I figured that maybe I might be able to keep up this little charade. So I'm now signed up to read at the folk music society's singer-songwriter night on the 18th of March.I'm sure they'll be appreciative, if only because that'll be ten minutes that the audience will have something to see besides some guy tuning his guitar. But I certainly don't think

Line, please.

2011-03-05T21:26:00.002-07:00

Remember how I said that a problem I had with Young Galaxy's newest album was that it didn't sound like they were having fun? On Friday, I had the pleasure of seeing Danny Michel in concert, and it was something magical. He sang about drinking rum punches on the shores of Belize, he sang about homesickness and wanderlust, he sang about his anguish at seeing people die in unnecessary wars... he

Benediction.

2011-03-02T20:52:00.004-07:00

I just got back from the poetry evening - what an amazing event! We had crazy wordflow slams, heartfelt love poems, dark brooding questions about faith, fairy tale epics, lyrical accusations for a drunken ex-boyfriend, some Shel Silverstein, a bit of improv... and a guy in weird-looking pants talking about Indiana Jones and leopards.I've already talked enough about my poetry on this blog, so

It works for Etrigan.

2011-02-28T21:07:00.004-07:00

Argh! Ever since I got all fancy with the font options for that Young Galaxy post, I can't shake the feeling that I messed up the default settings. Then again, I suppose there's a difference between "minimalist aesthetics" (what I wanted), "simple and clean" (what I'd settle for), and "default settings" (what I got). Maybe I should take this as a sign to start fiddling... but maybe later.Anyway,

Bittersweet.

2011-02-27T11:44:00.002-07:00

Roller Derby! What a sport - an absolutely electric atmosphere, hard-hitting action, and (although I still only have a cursory understanding of the rules) an exciting blend of strategy and execution. You know *what* they have to do, but you want to see *how* they do it. Add a hard-driving soundtrack that never stops, let the athletes pick their noms du guerre, and you've got a great evening.The

It's not the years that count, it's the mileage.

2011-02-26T00:57:00.001-07:00

One of the perks of my workplace is the diverse set of talents you find in the hallways. Well, relative to the world of science, anyway. We've got a meteorologist, we have tinsmiths, we even have -- well, we even used to have a glassblower.(Tip: Almost every lab in North America wishes they had a glassblower on staff. If you're looking for a change of careers and an excuse to learn new skills,

Fish versus Fruitcake.

2011-02-24T22:29:00.002-07:00

If you're reading this blog, chances are good that you know me pretty well already. I talk a lot about music, curling, my trips to strange Arctic lands, culinary adventures, video games, my writing, and "Canadian identity" issues. I don't talk too much about television, or motorcycles, or sport fishing... unless I'm making fun of Calgary.You might, then, assume that I don't really have a lot to

Nothing rhymes with "lead refrigerator".

2011-02-22T22:05:00.004-07:00

I could get used to this poetry thing.Really, the hardest part is figuring out what I want to say. But once I've got that established, it's just a matter of fitting the right words in the right places. It's kind of like Sudoku, except that you can show it to others once you're done.And much like last time, I've circumvented the first step by delving into fanfiction. Although I'm pretty happy

Shiftshaping.

2011-02-21T19:57:00.004-07:00

Whoops. Only a few days after I blog about "first discoveries" and sign off by asking for comments, Ryan North says, "Honey! You look pathetic and desperate!" And it's a fair point, really... but I ended up on more of a tangent than I thought, and it turned out to be a more interesting story than the review itself. But nonetheless, here's the promised review!(Uh oh. Did I just admit this would

Bullets, tens of thousands of them

2011-02-19T13:02:00.002-07:00

As I mentioned previously, I've joined a local poetry club. However, as you may have guessed... poetry is hard. Two weeks, and not a single idea. So, I thought that maybe if I narrowed down the format a bit, it would be easier to figure out the framework. Sort of like how few people create magic squares for fun, but everyone loves sudoku.So, I entered a few answers into a "what type of poem are

Soundshifting.

2011-02-18T13:25:00.001-07:00

I'm coming to you today from Terra del Fuego, land of... malaria, land... of hellish heat. I'm here to interview "No Means No" -- my captors, Mr. Right and Mr. Wrong are here beside me now. They haven't said anything, anything but the clicking on and off of the safety catch, on... and off...I, I've done what they wanted, the - the bastards! They've got their press! Now it's time for me to get

Kombucha!

2011-02-15T22:46:00.007-07:00

What a word. It sounds like the sort of toast you'd hear shouted in Mos Eisley, just before a group of aliens throw back a liquor that would probably kill a person just by having it touch their skin. But, it's also the name of a curious beverage from Russia: fermented tea. The really interesting thing about kombucha is that it's not simply left to ferment on its own. Rather, a starter culture

As the French say: "Good appetite."

2011-02-14T23:29:00.001-07:00

The peril of working as far as I do from the wheels of economy is that there are very few places to buy a lunch, save for the CanEx convenience store.Or, to put it another way, the peril of being as lazy as I am is that I tend to eat very poorly, because I shall invariably have bread, sliced meat, cheese, and mustard lined up in my fridge at home, while I juggle loonies in my pocket, choosing

The Autostache.

2011-02-12T17:35:00.006-07:00

Last night, I went to see a concert by "Dennett & de Groot", a two-woman bluegrass band that put on a wonderful show. Afterwards, I went to say hello, and get them to sign my CD (why not, right?). But as I was in line, I overheard one of them mention something that they'd always wanted to do when autographing CDs...Really, I should have started asking artists to do this years ago.

2/11: Never forget.

2011-02-11T23:15:00.002-07:00

I honestly didn't know if it could happen in Egypt. Could people overthrow their leader, simply by refusing to be led? As it turns out, yes. What an amazing day.It may be a historic moment... but is it better? I've talked with some people today who chose not to get too happy until a democratically elected leader is in control and the military is off the streets of Cairo. It's a fair point, but

Rocky Horror vs. The World.

2011-02-10T00:11:00.005-07:00

Have you ever applauded in a movie theatre? It happens sometimes. You're swept up in the emotion, and you want to be a part of it. A few people join in, because that's how applause works, and then you all stop almost immediately, because it's slightly ridiculous to applaud a show without any performers.Personally, I think this lack of participation could be addressed in one of two ways: either

The Blue Streak sets sail.

2011-02-08T00:30:00.001-07:00

No blog update today, Denton?For shame!But you were busy writing a novel?Formidable!I'm actually feeling pretty good about it, too. It's a simple fantasy novel, but aside from some vague idea about basing it against a pre-industrial economy, I wasn't yet sure what my villain's main plan was. Honestly, that wasn't too surprising for me. In almost everything I've ever written, the villain was added

Life before emoticons.

2011-02-06T13:48:00.001-07:00

I was going to write a little bit today about the new novel I'm writing, but a surprising e-mail I received yesterday changed my plans. Apparently, there's going to be a local poetry group starting up in the city, and I'm on the list read something at its opening night.How was I accorded such an honour? Simple - I put my name down on the list of people willing to read something at its opening

Traction Control.

2011-02-05T16:53:00.004-07:00

When kids aren't natural talents in their sport, you often see them making up their own fun. They'll dig holes in the outfield with their heels, or try to stuff golf balls into their mouth, or just fiddle around with cheat codes, rather than play team deathmatch.Likewise, if you needed more proof that I'm not a great curler, look no further than the fact that more than curling itself, I love

#politics.

2011-02-04T11:02:00.001-07:00

A few years back, I wrote my MP to present a polite and reasonable argument in support of gay marriage rights. A few years later, I was living in another riding, and wrote my MP there to explain how I felt about carbon taxes and our environmental policy. Both times, I received absolutely no response."It figures," I thought to myself. "They've simply written me off as someone who would never vote

In Regina, we call him "Gainer".

2011-02-03T18:34:00.010-07:00

It's actually a fantastic idea. Athletes are already venerated as heroes and legends - their exploits become tales fondly told and retold, their careers weaving a narrative from which lessons are learned and dreams are made. Their prowess can seem supernatural, beyond the abilities of anything you've ever encountered. At the same time, superhero comics are fun, entertaining, and popular. Why not

Second cloud to the right, and straight on 'til sunset.

2011-02-02T17:27:00.001-07:00

There's a great article at New Scientist this week talking about the Vikings.(Disclaimer: Yes, the 2011 edition of Labville will have a high Viking quotient. Vikings are cool. Apologies to my 11th century Anglo-Saxon readers.)It had always been accepted that Vikings used the sun for navigation. But what did they do on cloudy or foggy days? The sagas tell of a "sunstone" which was used. Some

Now I just need it in Latin.

2010-12-20T23:50:00.005-07:00

It's a fun question to ask: "If you were on a desert island disc, what five albums would you bring with you?" The real sport of this is always watching someone try to abstain. "Oh, I couldn't pick just five," they'll say, and then they're cajoled into throwing their entire music collection into the ocean, and everyone is entertained by the anguish this causes. I used to play along in the same

Star-crossed.

2010-10-15T11:01:00.003-06:00

I've always been horrible at shopping for souvenirs. I want something representative, but not exploitative. I believe in the power of words, which is why I never wear clogging with slogans on them.Going through the streets of Reykjavik, it's much the same situation. Dozens of stores selling keychains and "I <3 RVK" T-shirts and snowglobes. Mittens are practical, but that's why I already have

Campfire stories.

2010-05-10T11:00:00.003-06:00

Everyone I've met here has been a bonfire of hospitality - give them your hesitation and shyness, and it'll only feed their flames as they sit you down and make you one of their group, and invite you to share the warmth. And then, they start cooking hamburgers over a charcoal grill, nestled amongst the lattice and lemon trees, and drinks are poured and songs are sung and neighbours drop by to

Positively charged.

2010-05-10T10:20:00.004-06:00

The city is, as always, lush and vibrant, with flowers blooming on every curb, and the grass is soft and verdant, perfect for sitting down with a bowl of curry from the farmer's market. The trees are enormous, almost doubling the height of some hills, such that you can somehow look *through* these distant green mounds dwarfing the houses below, and see the skylight shining through them. The

Let's try that again.

2010-05-07T23:16:00.003-06:00

The air is sweet with the fragrance of blossoms, along with the occasional waft of air from the creperie down the street. The street I'm on plummets before me, leaving atop a hill, surveying the distance ahead. The view is framed on each side by rows upon rows of palm trees. As the evening sun pushes through the haze, the buildings of San Francisco disappear into a golden haze, followed by the

In which the author pretends he still has a blog.

2010-05-07T10:15:00.002-06:00

Well, I'm in the Calgary airport once again, awaiting the boarding call which will commence another wonderful weekend in San Francisco/Oakland/Berkeley/the Bay Area. (I'm still not too sure where the locals self-identify.) American customs security is as depressing as always, but the baggage handler gave me an extra wave. I guess that counts for something. The Tim Hortons' stand continues to

Other People's Facebooks.

2010-02-11T06:31:00.003-07:00

It's 5AM, and I can't sleep in a hotel room that normally costs WHAT?-hundred dollars, which now costs what?-and-a-half because of the Olympics. So, I go on to Facebook, and some friend of a friend is complaining about the Olympics.I understand the sentiment. A lot of that money is getting thrown around that could be spent on better things - or, if you like to play the "my taxpayer dollars"

Next time, I'll wear boots.

2010-02-05T20:45:00.003-07:00

In Medicine Hat, I'm not used to being in a crowd of thousands, so I felt a little out of place in Whistler tonight, waiting for the Olympic torch to arrive. Then again, Whistler wasn't really used to these crowds, either - the Olympic carnival appeared overnight from behind tents and construction barriers, and more than once I saw a veteran skier stop and puzzle over an alley he knew, which had

Rogue's Gallery.

2009-12-13T21:08:00.002-07:00

Well, another November is wrapped up. As has the October before it, and the September before that. Those were probably the longest three months of my life that didn't have a final exam in them... but now it's over, and I'm able to talk about Batman.You see, this summer, I finished the latest revision of "Pile O' Bones", my novel about a Saskatchewan vampire hunter. I've sent copies out to

One Light. One Camera. No Action.

2009-11-01T21:31:00.003-07:00

It was inevitable -- I've started livecasting.Not a "see Denton in his most intimate moments" deal, or anything. Mercy, no. But I will be broadcasting live footage of myself whenever I'm sitting at my computer desk this month. And, considering that this is National Novel Writing Month, I'll be sitting at my computer desk a great deal. I've even been playing with the camera software so that

Lights! Camera! Popcorn!

2009-10-28T20:11:00.000-06:00

It's time to raise the curtain,It's time to light the lights,It's time to get things started,It's the Monarch's Opening Night!It's been a busy couple of weeks, and during that time, I had the distinct privilege of picking gum off of 410 theatre seats. (Some committee members bring organization, networking, fundraising opportunities, and business savvy to the board; I bring other skills.) But at

Red Light District

2009-09-19T06:21:00.001-06:00

With the roar of the interstate drowning out my headphones, I clambered over the safety barrier, to retreat to the ditch while I walked. In the dark, I stumbled over rough, unfinished drainage canals, and the wet undergrowth slapped at my legs. I trudged on for a while before realizing I was never going to get any closer to my destination, and that walking across an interstate is a much

Nothing to declare.

2009-09-18T15:14:00.004-06:00

An airport at 12AM is a different sort of place. Everything seems less important - which is to say, about as important as an airport should be. The loudest sound you hear is the electric whirr of the carts, driven by custodians going a bit faster than usual, putting just a touch more swing into their turns. They're smiling. A group of flight attendants go down the hall, and one of them hip-checks

Stop and smoke the roses.

2009-09-13T20:53:00.004-06:00

It was a frenetic trip to Vancouver last week; two days and one wedding doesn't leave a lot of free time. But Vancouver was a jewel of a city, as always, and I'll never complain about the chance to record a few more hours there in my logbook. That's actually relevant to something I noticed on that trip, too.While being hustled from hotel to harbour, we hurried past a hookah. A whole store of

An avalanche of popular support.

2009-08-21T09:15:00.003-06:00

I did eventually arrive in Whistler, though. It wasn't quite what I expected. Driving down the highway, the intersections themselves are almost completely devoid of features. All you can see are trees, and a sign telling which part of Whistler lies beyond the grove. It's like driving through an apartment hallway, trying to find the door that leads to a gas station, rather than the door that

Option #3 at the Happiness Hotel.

2009-08-16T23:32:00.000-06:00

If I wanted to grit my teeth, turn up the music, and slap myself awake once or twice, I could have made it to Vancouver without any problems. But it was getting to dark to take notes, so a few exits after the town of Hope, I decided to pull into the nex stop that advertised an open campground.The campground in question was the "Whistlestop RV park". Like I said, it was already pretty late, so

Lights! Camera! Action!

2009-08-06T22:25:00.003-06:00

It was a perfect summer evening. As part of a fundraiser, the Monarch Theatre was showing classic movies in the park. Bring a lawn chair, bring a donation, and re-live that drive-in experience. The initial response had been very encouraging.This evening, it was the 1999 film of "A Midsummer Night's Dream". Shown in the middle of a forest on a midsummer night, it was pretty much the perfect

Cue the soundtrack.

2009-07-13T21:41:00.000-06:00

I'd tell people that I was going to Dinosaur Provincial Park, and they'd say, "Good for you. That's a really nice place."Perhaps they should have said, "Prepare to tremble in fear at a majesty of nature you never knew to exist, for if the prairies were a monarch, the badlands would surely be its crown."I'd say more, but a) my camping buddies were the ones that brought a camera, and b) they're

Walkabout.

2009-07-10T08:44:00.004-06:00

All right. Time to leave the Vegas strip, shake off that neon dust, and go see a few things in my own backyard. After all, everybody has a duty to themselves to know where they live, or else admit they don't live there. Maybe Dinosaur Provincial Park is just an insignificant ripple in the unending plains. But I won't know until I've been there. And I should know.There'll be no blogging out

Suitable for framing.

2009-07-07T22:45:00.003-06:00

I've already put this image up on Facebook and Twitter, so my apologies for a "triple post" -- but I wanted it somewhere more permanent. (I consider a blog permanent? Maybe I should buy a printer.) Voila!Ah, good times. By the way, we posted an incredible time of 2:19 in the B division semis, and in the finals (the only race which actually depends on position rather than time), we raced 2:27,

Taking Care of Business.

2009-07-04T19:30:00.004-06:00

Photos forthcoming.But in the meantime, my first stint as an Elvis impersonator was an unqualified success. People were laughing, smiling, taking pictures -- I even got to autograph a scarf. The most surreal moment, though, was after the main performance, when a fellow came up to shake my hand. And then... a curious thing. He asked me what my name was.A split second before I said "Denton", I

The sweetest word.

2009-06-29T23:10:00.002-06:00

Meanwhile, back at the greenhouse, we recently concluded our annual "employee appreciation" luncheon. I'm not one to complain about a free barbecue. I'm not even one to complain about listening to a half-hour of semi-motivational speeches during a free barbecue.Because I could if I wanted to. Just so you know.Anyway, there were also a few door prizes to be won -- that time-honoured tactic of

We need you, Leon Kompowski.

2009-06-25T22:54:00.003-06:00

Yes, I know. The entire world is talking about Michael Jackson right now. But it's not like the entire world did all my listening for me, so it's impossible for me to hear that he's dead and not reminisce a little.Michael Jackson is the reason I gave up on Top 40 radio -- but not the way you'd think. One summer, the local station in Regina was doing a "Top 500 rock songs of ALL TIME"

Bay City Rolling.

2009-06-19T11:05:00.006-06:00

All right. Home at last, with a few lessons learned on the nature of mojo -- and the duties that mojo puts upon you. I think I'm ready to start being interesting again.But before I get interesting -- let's see some vacation photos!What, you were expecting the Golden Gate bridge? Hey, it's a beautiful structure, but it's been photographed before.On the other hand, I've never seen pigeons that

Word War. 15 minutes. Go.

2009-06-15T14:35:00.005-06:00

I'm typing this on an intern's laptop in the Office of Letters and Light, here in downtown Oakland. I figure that if I'm going to abuse their fine hospitality, I should play by their rules, right? So. Fifteen minutes. Start writing about Jack London. GO.* * * * *They moved the cabin from the Yukon down to the bay, to better honour me. I don't know why they bothered. Sure, they'll be able to

The First Of The Unplucked Gems.

2009-06-14T08:57:00.004-06:00

I love The Hip. I don't think this point can be argued, or even overstated. If they were playing in San Francisco, would I book plane tickets to see them there? Of course I would, without a moment's hesitation. And that's exactly what I did. When I started this mojologue, I did so with the smug foreknowledge that being at the Hip concert would push my mojo status through the clouds, and that

The World Ends With You.

2009-06-13T11:59:00.002-06:00

Is there any greater delight in travelling than being able to shrink the world? The very act is a Zen counterpoint to itself -- the easiest way to shrink the world, of course, is not to go anyway. But the very act of finding the similar refrains in different worlds is impossible without achieving a greater understand of just how large the world is in the first place.But I didn't dance the night

Yes, that's really my city's name.

2009-06-12T16:38:00.005-06:00

I was wondering around Haight and Ashbury today -- birthplace of the "Summer of Love". Alas, most of its retail nowadays are sadly similar to that of "San Francisco", the novelty shop (a.k.a. mall blight). But, it's still worth the visit.Then, on the way back, I was wandering through the surrounding streets, and I passed a Boys and Girls Club, where the Red Cross was holding a blood donation

I thought "vintage" clothing had wine spilled on it.

2009-06-12T10:50:00.005-06:00

There was a wine and cheese party at the hostel last night. Everyone mingled and shared stories, and I... hung around in the corner. I did meet one fellow from France, though, who was disappointed to discover that this Canadian could hardly speak a word of French.mojo status: 11/100But, the corner can provide a valuable viewpoint. Last night, I saw:-a girl with flowers in her hair.-a girl with

This is my Sabotage.

2009-06-11T20:30:00.002-06:00

Wow. They tell you about the hills here. They warn you about it, even. But it doesn't really sink in until you come across a street where the sidewalk literally has a staircase cut into it. Uphill, downhill, cresting four peaks walking eight blocks... if you see someone riding a bike in San Francisco, they're either a tourist, or in peak condition, or mad.I am not in peak condition. By that